And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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