we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
