bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
