gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
