i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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