Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
