So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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