Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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