I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
