You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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