I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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