So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I lost the right to judge tonight
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
