he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize