how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
