return my video game
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
