You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
