you turned your livingroom into a bong?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
