VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
