so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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