There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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