So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
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