I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We had to coat check the pizza.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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