I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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