I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Less talking, more tequila
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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