My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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