you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
