so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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