found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
