this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
