I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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