suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
