He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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