Christians are straight up FREAKS
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
