Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
