Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
