It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
