Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
