I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
