My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
