my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
