Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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