There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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