Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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