Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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