I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
