It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just got carded by a ten year old.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
