TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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