We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So squirting runs in the family.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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