idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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