ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Randomize
