something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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