I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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