The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
